As we ponder
What lies beneath
I’m sure many of you have felt the push/pull duality of the female sexual personae. Personally… I have. Trying to find the comfortable place where I can feel good about my feminine powers. It’s been a long hard journey. I was one of the girls who developed early, and was catapulted into womanhood. I think I spent a good deal time testing out various identities, slouching, dressing in clothes that looked like a potato sack, no make-up, super tight blouses, cleavage, turtle necks… etc. Probably one of the biggest things I did was try to hide my intelligence by speaking like a valley girl (a habit, to this day, has not been broken). Oh well, I guess you just have to get to know me to realize I’m not a complete space cadet!
There are so many mixed messages about what is sexy for women. I for one, do not feel comfortable being anything other than my evolving self.. whether it’s a short-shorts hoochie mama, or suited-up corporate woman. It’s also refreshing to note that there are women who throw out the notion of a dualistic feminine nature create and own their own sexual personae. From a latex fetishwear company Atsuko Kudo to Locher’s not-so-nice embroidered shirts, to Japanese “not-so-slutty” garders. It’s very liberating and inspiring to be able to integrate more of these details and nuances in my attire, in such a subtle way…
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i really hear you on this. and incidentally i am NUTS about Locher! i have a severe lust for the “Life is Fucked Up” design.
magnificent find on the not-so-slutty garters!
In elementary school, I was one of the first girls to, ahem, develop. Up until high school I felt dressing in baggy shirts and whatever else was ugly-comfy was the best thing to do. But now that I’m constantly surrounded by slutty looking, too-much cleavage exposed girls in my own school, I think I’ve learned (a little) how to be sexy without looking desperate, and to me that means being comfortable in clothes that you love and are unique, and not another tighter-than-skin Hollister shirt. And confidence! That is one thing I have recently been trying to work on. Confidence probably is the best accessory a woman can have!
sewing bunny… thank you for bringing up that topic, confidence. you are really lucky that you have the wisdom to know that sexiness comes from within… it took me so much longer than high-school to figure that out! i hope that other young women are learning that lesson sooner rather than later.
; )
Awesome post. I love japanese style. Love it. The not-so-slutty garters are fabulous.
GREAT post! As women we are definately sent mixed messages and for some of us it takes longer than we would like to find out what is best for us!
I was one of the last girls to be thrown in the big womanhood-melting-pot as an adolescent, and by the time it finally began to happen I was disappointed by the way my wishes did not come true (I did not look, and never will, like an Estonian supermodel). Now I am in my twenties and I feel that I am still working on my own personal definition of what being female is. I absolutely agree with the sewing bunny and jennine, confidence is the keyword for sexiness. For me, being sexy also means being self-deprecating and maybe also a little narcissistic. Right now I am experimenting how to feel sexy with a pair of black shell-rimmed glasses. You won’t believe it, but when I wear them I feel super-sexy! Among many other reasons, I guess it is because they are a symbol, the antithesis to what is usually considered to be sexy?
Oh man, the wonder of being a 34 C at the age of 14. I’m amazed actually, that I’m in any way comfortable with my body. But I am and love your take on the whole issue. Great post.