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ephemera

Learning to love you more

I was wearing this dress when I finally told my boyfriend to kiss me.

How many days do you have burned in your memory… something happened that remains frozen in time. We all have memories, but when pressed, even I, have difficulty at times remembering what I was actually wearing… sometimes.

I remember my 29th birthday dress, every time I wear it, which is pretty often, I tell people that’s what it’s for. Ok, so it’s nearly 4 years later. But that was an important birthday for some strange reason.

Learning To Love You More, is a website. I first encountered the book at William Stout, an amazing bookstore for design/architecture/art book junkies. The whole concept is a series of assignments by Miranda July and Harrell Fletcher, and we, the public respond…

The best art and writing is almost like an assignment; it is so vibrant that you feel compelled to make something in response.

Assignments ranged from taking a flash photo under your bed, to making an inspiring banner. The assignment I felt was most relevant to this blog, was : Take a picture of a significant outfit.

“What I was wearing when I realised she would twist everything to get herself out of trouble.”
Alice A.

Birmingham, UK
This is the outfit I didn’t wear because you said my thriftstore dress looked like a towel and had a hole in it. I wear it all the time now. Everytime I wear it, I’m glad we broke up.
Ariel
Knoxville, Tennessee USA

What i was wearing when the doctor said i was seriously ill of anorexia.
Alicia Maria Pi
Wroclaw, POLAND

It’s projects like these that bring to your mind how powerful clothing is, how much it reflects our person, documents our experiences. How difficult it is to let go of some items like a birthday dress, or a pair of shoes I couldn’t afford, but bought them because I was on my first holiday in Europe.

What clothes do you hold on to, for nothing else but sentimental reasons?

AMENDMENT: per request…
Click here if you would like to buy the book Learning to Love You More
I hope you will enjoy it as much as I do!

Discussion

19 comments for “Learning to love you more”

  1. i have a blue and white floral 60s housedress that i wore sometimes while waiting for my now boyfriend to drive up to my old apartment. that was about 6 years ago. it isn’t in the best shape. there are cigarette burns but i cannot give it up. i can still feel the nervous butterflies in my stomach when i see it tucked away in my drawer. and once in a while i put it on again.

    Posted by vintagevixxen | January 16, 2008, 1:31 pm
  2. Ahhh…I just wrote about it today…funny you should ask.

    Today I’m wearing this pair of black velvet bootcut pants that I bought from Montreal 3 years ago-a city that I love more than NYC and San Fran (sorry). Anyway, I was just saying today- “I refuse to let go of [them] because I bought them in Canada, and Hannah [my BFF] and I have the exact same pair (except mine are a size 26 and hers are a 25-lucky duck). [They] are a bit too “fitted” in the thigh-booty area. I’m going with the “they shrunk” argument rather than the “I grew” theory. And since there are too tight and I’m wearing my staple granny panties, the panty lines are squished and clearly fighting their way through my butt pockets.”

    Simply stated, I hold onto them because my best friend and I bought them together when we were on a trip together in a wonderful city.

    Posted by Chubbs | January 16, 2008, 2:23 pm
  3. Wow! What a busy blog! Congrats on making blogger of note! And it’s nice to know someone else remembers outfits…

    Posted by ScribblinScribe | January 16, 2008, 2:39 pm
  4. you’re right b/c it seems that every other thing in my closet has a memory. but i also have my old school uniforms that i def cannot get into anymore. i also have these leopard print clogs *cringe* from college b/c they took me through many college parties. i haven’t touched them in years, nor want to, but i can’t let them go.

    Posted by the muse | January 16, 2008, 3:35 pm
  5. Oh wow! I did the same thing a little while ago! Here is the link of me wearing the skirt that I was wearing the first time my boy and I kissed. I even mention it in the outfit post!

    http://www.smagglestyle.com/?p=289#respond

    Where did you buy the book? I might check out Amazon…
    You always make me buy things. Damn you! :-)

    Posted by Lady Smaggle | January 16, 2008, 3:41 pm
  6. ahh…. for some reason, cigarette burned clothing has this poetic connotation to it.

    leopard CLOGS! oh my. i had red platform boots that kind of looked like ski boots. that was horrific, but i had so much fun in them.

    i understand.

    lady smaggle! what a whimsical skirt… lovely to see a picture of you.

    posted a link to the book in the post.. so hopefully you get a copy, it’s a lot of fun to browse through, particularly on a rainy day.

    Posted by jennine | January 16, 2008, 3:56 pm
  7. Ack. Such a lovely dress. I have clothes from my ex that I couldn’t bear to part with. Still care about him a lot, so I guess that’s why!

    Also, I hope you don’t mind me linking you in my blog. I’m finally getting around to posting again, and I had to edit my links when I changed the layout again! How lazy I can be…

    Posted by sarahPUFFY | January 16, 2008, 5:07 pm
  8. oh…wow. just about everything has a memory of sorts. for me, i love to find something that hasn’t been worn in awhile and immediately remember the feeling i had when i got it.

    Posted by thealchemist | January 16, 2008, 6:00 pm
  9. Oh my! It looks beautiful! This is a first for me. I rarely look into clithing. It’s all so pretty!!

    -Poppy

    Posted by Poppy | January 16, 2008, 8:08 pm
  10. um, the top i lost my virginity in….

    Posted by Anonymous | January 16, 2008, 11:26 pm
  11. Very cute outfits! I have certain shirts that I keep because my exboyfriend complimented me in it, but nothing stands out, really.

    It makes me sad after reading your post that I have no sentimental value to my closet.

    Posted by That Fashionista | January 16, 2008, 11:51 pm
  12. Faded black jeans.

    Thanks for your comment on my blog, you are right! The music in The Shining is the scariest aspect of that movie. It is even more scary than Kubrick’s way of playing with your sub-consciousness. Or maybe it’s part of his way to play with your sub-concsiousness?

    Posted by Garg the Unzola | January 17, 2008, 12:25 am
  13. hmm..i can’t think of a memorable important outfit! omg, does that mean my life is uneventful :(, haha, I guess I remember what I wore to prom. I liked it :D

    Posted by lalaliu | January 17, 2008, 1:44 am
  14. Here’s a lovely, pathetic one:

    17 July 2002: On the way to London to meet my fiance:
    Black capri pants, tan moleskin halter, black YSL blazer. Black mules with chunky heel.

    5 August 2002: On the way home after fiance broke up with me the night I arrived:
    Black wide-legged trousers, black stretch tank (from Target, Mossimo), black YSL blazer. Ratty raffia platforms that took me all over London when fiance dropped me off there like excess baggage. I figured I might as well see the sights while I was there. Alone.

    Posted by Suzanna Mars | January 17, 2008, 12:53 pm
  15. oh my gosh… what a sad story!
    it was a difficult time for me too… on 15 july 2002, i moved into a west london flat, when my husband (at the time) was living in our east london flat.
    :(

    such a sad time.

    Posted by jennine | January 17, 2008, 1:02 pm
  16. hmmm, i think i am really unsentimental about my clothes. nothing i keep just to keep, and no memories linked to them…

    Posted by editor | January 17, 2008, 2:36 pm
  17. I have this old Proenza Schouler dress from a season long ago. Normally, I’m just a meek little girl, but when I wear that dress, I’m like a hellcat on heels on the dancefloor. It’s probably those bustier cup things Jack and Lazaro were nuts about for a while. But seriously, I’ve worn that dress out quite a bit, but I can’t muster up the courage to throw it away…

    Posted by Teresa | January 17, 2008, 10:22 pm
  18. your white strappy shoes are coming out next season with a brand name ” marc jacobs” lol i just saw a pair on net-a-porter :D in black and peach.

    Posted by muhajababe | January 18, 2008, 2:08 am
  19. I like ladies with style…

    And you are certainly one.

    http://elysian-dream.blogspot.com

    Posted by Syana | January 18, 2008, 10:36 am

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