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10 Things I Learned About Style From Being a Mom

jasper-jennine

This will be my first Mother’s Day as a mom.

In the last year, or few years, since being pregnant took almost a year (and felt like 10 years)… sartorially speaking, I’ve been through a lot. Going from a small weight loss to gaining 57 pounds, then losing almost all of it. My life has gone from working in an office setting in New York City, to working at home, and working at home while trying to care for a baby in San Francisco. Just the difference between NYC and SF is big, and the difference between working in an office, no matter how lax, and working from home (when PJs are totally acceptable), and the difference between pre-mom and post-mom since there is all that crawling on the floor, sandboxes, throwing up, drool, and all kinds of crazy stuff.

My style has definitely changed, but not in the way I thought it would… here are the 10 things I’ve learned this year.

 

Everyone’s true colors come out after giving birth.

Before I had a baby, I heard about how I would be living in yoga pants, and not taking showers after having a kid. That everything goes to crap. As much as I love lounging around in my sweat pants, and have been experimenting with the non-shower taking, I still have time to put together outfits, although just not as much. My theory is that, like when anyone is crunched for time, only the important things get done. If style is not important to you, it’s going to be one of the first things to go. If it is important to you, you’ll figure out a way. Trust me.

Don’t feel bad about shopping (for yourself).

There is a lot of guilt around motherhood. Working. Staying at home. Not making organic baby food. iPads. Tummy time. Oh man, so many things. I have resigned to NOT feel guilty. Guilt sucks. We all can only do things to the best of our ability. Part of being a good parent is taking care of yourself. While fiscal responsibility is important, no one has to get on the cross to prove they’re a good parent. If a wardrobe refresh is necessary (and it may be since life changes so drastically) then do it. Don’t feel bad.

…no one has to get on the cross to prove they’re a good parent.

Getting dressed makes you feel a lot more human.

Getting dressed properly is a tether to the real world. This is true parent or no parent. If you work at home, getting dressed will make you feel more human. In the early days after having a baby, everything was a blur, and oddly enough, I never felt more like an animal than going through the process of being pregnant/giving/birth/taking care of baby. There is a lot of instinct and reflex that goes on, and it’s easy to get lost in that. Even now, I still feel like an animal (which I am, we all are) when nursing, or when Jasper acts like a monkey (which is all the time).

Nothing is sacred.

One morning I caught Jasper chewing on my Proenza Schouler PS1. Jasper also likes to dig into my closet and throw all my shoes out, then put them back in. Jasper pulled out Anita Ko stud earring got pulled out of my ear and lost forever. And yes, all my handbags double as diaper bags, because I couldn’t be bothered with those nylon padded contraptions. Everything belongs to the baby now. I just roll with it.

Everything will fit differently for a while.

It took me six weeks to fit into my baggy jeans, it took nine months for me to fit into my tops. When I first got home from the hospital, I ordered a nursing bra, and thought, “Oh… I’ll order a 36H (I’m normally a 32DD) just in case.” When I received the bra, it barely fit. I cried.

 I ordered a nursing bra, and thought, “Oh… I’ll order a 36H just in case.” When I received the bra, it barely fit. I cried.

Clothing will fit differently for a while. I just bought a lot of slouchy sweaters, slouchy tee shirts, stretchy everything. It worked until I got back into normal clothes. Even now, things don’t fit like they did before, but I think it will happen eventually.

Moms spill food on their clothes too.

As much as I would like to blame Jasper for all the spills  on my clothes, they are mostly from me. I’m messy.

Simplify, simplify, simplify.

Part of what enabled me to steer clear of the yoga pants was simplifying my look. Noticing how my husband had a modular wardrobe, I decided to give that a whirl when restocking my wardrobe after a 2 year shopping hiatus. Even if I have two minutes to get dressed, most of my wardrobe matches each other, so I don’t have to think that hard about what to wear.

You can’t wear high heels in a sand box.

I love wearing high heels. Getting so sick of flats, I would wear them anyway, even if it were to go to baby singing class or the playground. I just felt ridiculous in the end, and when I had to run through a sandbox in heels, I gave up the ghost. There will be times to break out the heels, just not all the time.

Say goodbye to mini skirts. But don’t worry, shorts are ok.

I’m on the floor most of the day, so mini skirts are a no go. For hot days, it’s all about the shorts. There are plenty of substitutions for the things we used to love to wear but can’t anymore.

At the end of the day, it’s just clothes.

For a while after having Jasper, I debated leaving style blogging altogether because talking about clothes all day just seemed superfluous. Agonizing over what to wear is a luxurious and fun distraction. So have fun. Having fun is a GOOD thing.

If you are a parent, what has the experience taught you about style?

jennine10 Things I Learned About Style From Being a Mom

Comments 12

  1. MIS PAPELICOS

    So true, funny, and helpful to others.
    Just brilliant
    I shall pass it to my daughter definitely, she thinks she will never sleep a whole night again, LOL
    Love and sunshine
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    1. Post
      Author
      jennine

      Haha, I thought it would never change too! But it went by so fast! Jasper is almost walking! Eeek!

      :)

      My previous posts are in the archives, categories and tags… all at the bottom of the page. Sorry, I didn’t even think of that until you brought it up!

  2. Lani Nguyen

    Jennine! I love reading about your adventures with Jasper. This post was very cute and even though I’m not a mom I can relate to quite a few of the points on your list like heels. I used to wear heels all the time to DJ gigs and this summer after DJing four nights in a row I realized it wasn’t sustainable and just plain silly since I was literally the only person who could see them behind the booth. ;P

    1. Post
      Author
      jennine

      Aw! Thanks so much Lani! I really miss you! Yeah, I can see why DJs wear sneakers, they do have to stand up for long periods of time… although, there are some really amazingly comfortable flats these days… they just don’t feel the same as wearing heels!

  3. save. spend. splurge.

    I still can’t fit back into my skinny pants *sigh* I miss all my pants SO MUCH.

    I only gained 25lbs but it was a tough go trying to lose it so far (down only 5-7lbs).. but maybe I’m being too hard on myself because I’m only in month 2 :)

    As for this tummy time business, I do it when I remember to. My mom says she never even know WTF all that stuff was and we ended up crawling and walking without it.

    I am only praying that my upper half did not expand with childbirth. I heard of moms going up 4″ around the torso and this would be disastrous for me because everything I own is tailored :|

    1. Post
      Author
      jennine

      Oh wow, two months in? That’s great! I was about 15 lbs away when I was two months in. Give yourself some time, and go easy on yourself. I tried to to Weight Watchers at one point, and was STARVING the whole time.

      I was really scared my feet would grow. I have soo many shoes, it would be horrible if I couldn’t wear them anymore. Luckily, they didn’t grow!

  4. Brittany

    “Everything will fit differently for a while.” - I swear to gosh my rib cage was wider for a year and a half. Everything got back to pre-pregnancy size and I couldn’t fit in my old dresses without ripping the seams/zippers. The weirdest parts of your body expand. Ladies, just wait until you gain a half shoe size, that one blew my mind. Now I have such a strange mixed bag of sizes in my closet that I wish I had just gone baggy and casual until I was back to normal.

  5. Applery

    It seems you have got enlightenment from life after being a mother. That’s not bad. Happy Mother’s day.

  6. Francesca

    You make it so easy to relate to your experience! Even my feet changed size as they hadn’t since I was 11! As my bump, weight, moods, spilling food experience go back 14 years, some of the Ten Commandments of Motherhood (!) are a fun memory, but the one that never vanished is the guilt of buying for myself.
    I created a new rule for myself: whatever I spend for me I spend for her = I tend to buy at H&M and Zara for regular clothes or I would be broke!
    Do you have a better solution?
    P.S. Happy 1st mother’s day to you, and baby and husband!

  7. raquel

    I am an adopted mother of a 4 year old boy but i feel the same: i felt sooooo ridiculous the first time i went with him in my nearly kindergarden with a pair of heels! LOL

    congrats with your handsome boy!

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