This will be my first Mother’s Day as a mom.
In the last year, or few years, since being pregnant took almost a year (and felt like 10 years)… sartorially speaking, I’ve been through a lot. Going from a small weight loss to gaining 57 pounds, then losing almost all of it. My life has gone from working in an office setting in New York City, to working at home, and working at home while trying to care for a baby in San Francisco. Just the difference between NYC and SF is big, and the difference between working in an office, no matter how lax, and working from home (when PJs are totally acceptable), and the difference between pre-mom and post-mom since there is all that crawling on the floor, sandboxes, throwing up, drool, and all kinds of crazy stuff.
My style has definitely changed, but not in the way I thought it would… here are the 10 things I’ve learned this year.
Everyone’s true colors come out after giving birth.
Before I had a baby, I heard about how I would be living in yoga pants, and not taking showers after having a kid. That everything goes to crap. As much as I love lounging around in my sweat pants, and have been experimenting with the non-shower taking, I still have time to put together outfits, although just not as much. My theory is that, like when anyone is crunched for time, only the important things get done. If style is not important to you, it’s going to be one of the first things to go. If it is important to you, you’ll figure out a way. Trust me.
Don’t feel bad about shopping (for yourself).
There is a lot of guilt around motherhood. Working. Staying at home. Not making organic baby food. iPads. Tummy time. Oh man, so many things. I have resigned to NOT feel guilty. Guilt sucks. We all can only do things to the best of our ability. Part of being a good parent is taking care of yourself. While fiscal responsibility is important, no one has to get on the cross to prove they’re a good parent. If a wardrobe refresh is necessary (and it may be since life changes so drastically) then do it. Don’t feel bad.
…no one has to get on the cross to prove they’re a good parent.
Getting dressed makes you feel a lot more human.
Getting dressed properly is a tether to the real world. This is true parent or no parent. If you work at home, getting dressed will make you feel more human. In the early days after having a baby, everything was a blur, and oddly enough, I never felt more like an animal than going through the process of being pregnant/giving/birth/taking care of baby. There is a lot of instinct and reflex that goes on, and it’s easy to get lost in that. Even now, I still feel like an animal (which I am, we all are) when nursing, or when Jasper acts like a monkey (which is all the time).
Nothing is sacred.
One morning I caught Jasper chewing on my Proenza Schouler PS1. Jasper also likes to dig into my closet and throw all my shoes out, then put them back in. Jasper pulled out Anita Ko stud earring got pulled out of my ear and lost forever. And yes, all my handbags double as diaper bags, because I couldn’t be bothered with those nylon padded contraptions. Everything belongs to the baby now. I just roll with it.
Everything will fit differently for a while.
It took me six weeks to fit into my baggy jeans, it took nine months for me to fit into my tops. When I first got home from the hospital, I ordered a nursing bra, and thought, “Oh… I’ll order a 36H (I’m normally a 32DD) just in case.” When I received the bra, it barely fit. I cried.
I ordered a nursing bra, and thought, “Oh… I’ll order a 36H just in case.” When I received the bra, it barely fit. I cried.
Clothing will fit differently for a while. I just bought a lot of slouchy sweaters, slouchy tee shirts, stretchy everything. It worked until I got back into normal clothes. Even now, things don’t fit like they did before, but I think it will happen eventually.
Moms spill food on their clothes too.
As much as I would like to blame Jasper for all the spills on my clothes, they are mostly from me. I’m messy.
Simplify, simplify, simplify.
Part of what enabled me to steer clear of the yoga pants was simplifying my look. Noticing how my husband had a modular wardrobe, I decided to give that a whirl when restocking my wardrobe after a 2 year shopping hiatus. Even if I have two minutes to get dressed, most of my wardrobe matches each other, so I don’t have to think that hard about what to wear.
You can’t wear high heels in a sand box.
I love wearing high heels. Getting so sick of flats, I would wear them anyway, even if it were to go to baby singing class or the playground. I just felt ridiculous in the end, and when I had to run through a sandbox in heels, I gave up the ghost. There will be times to break out the heels, just not all the time.
Say goodbye to mini skirts. But don’t worry, shorts are ok.
I’m on the floor most of the day, so mini skirts are a no go. For hot days, it’s all about the shorts. There are plenty of substitutions for the things we used to love to wear but can’t anymore.
At the end of the day, it’s just clothes.
For a while after having Jasper, I debated leaving style blogging altogether because talking about clothes all day just seemed superfluous. Agonizing over what to wear is a luxurious and fun distraction. So have fun. Having fun is a GOOD thing.